On Grief And Tokenism And Friendship And A Hundred Billion Other Things

For two and twenty and two hundred and a thousand days and minutes and years and seconds and millenia I’ve been thinking about my friend. I don’t care that I walked away last year, they were still my friend. I didn’t walk away by choice. I always wanted them to come back to me. I […]

On Friendship

Yesterday, I got home from Bug’s appointment and my house was a mess. It’s been a mess since the sleepover, and honestly, a bit longer. I find it hard to keep up on housework. It wasn’t dirty. Dishes are usually done nightly, but it’s not unusual to find baskets of clean but unfolded laundry in […]

On Being Heard

My son has ADHD. We’ve known this for years. For years we’ve struggled with uninterested and unwilling medical professionals and educators who dismissed it as not a big deal. I’m not sure how, as it’s pretty clear that he was struggling. It took years of fighting for services before I found the magic words to […]

For My Trans Siblings

I want to find the words that will comfort and reassure you. I’ve written and deleted so many sentences and paragraphs and I have none that do this, or any of the other tragedies the community has faced lately any justice. Instead, I leave you with the words of Andrea Gibson in their poem Ashes […]

The Chaos Of Sleepovers

My son’s best friend came over for a sleepover this weekend. Picture my two, plus two bonus kids building box forts and chasing each other around an old, cramped, 1850s house while four cats, a dog with dementia, and two adults in their thirties do their best to avoid being run over by the howling […]

Our Pink House

When my kids and I lived with my ex husband we didn’t really have stable housing. When we left, we did so with no idea where we would end up long term. I knew we had a short term place to stay, and we had a rough plan to go back home to Canada that […]

A Mourning Routine

Most mornings, I wake up at quarter to six. I climb out of bed with my cat at my heels. First, we climb the stairs to our one bathroom. While I pee, she perches on the sink next to me and headbutts me for kisses. I wash my hands, and leave the sink on for […]


My friends are constantly telling me to rest, to slow down, to take time for myself. I’m always arguing that I really don’t do much of anything. If I slow down anymore I’ll be dead.  Thing is, we define work differently. To my friends, the degree to which I show up for people is work. The […]

My Mother In Law

My mother in law and I recently had a falling out. For me, it seemed to come out of nowhere. I really loved her. I thought she was cool and fun and amazing, and I frequently told my friends how much fun I had talking to her and spending time with her. I was surprised […]

Bab El Salam

Sometimes when I’m feeling homesick I go to my favorite restaurant, Bab El Salaam. It’s run by a Palestinian man everyone calls Amo Mazen, and his wife Ammeh Sue. At home, Amo is an honorific you use for a middle aged man out of respect. Amo and Ammeh for a paternal aunt. Our maternal uncle […]